Budget Crisis Turns Secret City Defense Plane into Real Monument

Burbank, CA

Budget cuts are becoming all the rage as Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch once were. The next government program to be cut is America’s “War on Terror”. The war against evil started a massive budget surplus; officials were just to giving money away. U.S. cities began to receive funding for a unique program code-named: “Backyard Defense”. Devised by the Department of Defense to balance out the responsibility and blame should an attack on U.S. soil occur; cities, towns, and villages were given defense funding. One such township was Burbank, California.

Burbank being the stepchild of Hollywood, houses many of the entertainment industry’s studios and necessary catering company’s. Along with containing sights like the oldest Bob’s Big Boy in America, an attack on this modern day Rome would cripple America. The city thus put in place a secret defense plan: disguising a local monument to a Jetfighter to entrust their safety.

Located in the heart of Burbank, it was the perfect cover to thwart any attack. Across the street from a convalescent home, hidden between trees that make a thirty-foot blue and white jet less noticeable, the F104 Starfighter was displayed on Olive Avenue. Always on the ready, “the Spirit of Burbank” was perched in launch position, 7 days a week, 24 hours, 360 days a year (closed on federal holidays) ready for action.

Three times a day a crew, posing as boy scouts and bird watchers would refuel and service the mighty craft, as having the ship elevated this way put a massive toll on the mechanics of the vehicle.

Because of the heightened security levels (a shade of orange or red alert), two pilots were placed on stand by all hours of the day, sometimes in the evening if there was not a cross-town sports rivalry game going on between high schools. The pilots were placed in the cockpit, order not to move or talk (which is the only successful way of portraying mannequins)

Unfortunately no attack had occurred. The threat seemed like it was there, but so far away that well, someone else can handle it. So like the cutting of NASA's budget, the funding for “Backyard Defense” was dissolved. It took eight months to dismantle the jet to look like a real monument. Some say if you look close enough, you can still see the brave pilots waiting to jet off defend us from terror. Others say they are just mannequins.

For more information about “Backyard Defense” or “Mannequins” check out the neat books at your local library.