UFO Crashes Into Electronics Store

UFO Crashes Into Electronics Store, Story Revealed

February 12, 1998 Burbank, CA

Last night at around 1:35am, Bob Hope Airport Air Traffic Control reported an unidentified object closing on the airport. “Too big to be a weather balloon and traveling too fast to be any on time arrival of any American Airlines flight.” – Bob Salley, air traffic controller. It seemed to come in for an emergency landing at the airport, flashing it lights, turn signals, and windshield wipers to get the ground’s attention. The craft seemed to lose power mid descent and flew right into a Fry’s Electronics store adjacent to the airport. Structural damage occurred on the front of the building, luckily the store’s sign was undamaged.

“We heard this huge commotion happening in front, all the power went out immediately, then we heard strange noises” – Travis Davis, Night Manager. Little green men started hop out of the craft, stumbled around, and began scavenging for parts, probably to repair the vessel. “They started to take computer parts, stereos, TVs, everything, and I wasn’t gonna be blamed for this mess.” Mr. Davis and the three teenage minimum-wage employees began to fight back. Armed with printer cables, VHS tapes, and external hard drives, an all out intergalactic brawl broke out. The aliens, unarmed and unaccustomed to hostility took whatever they could carry, mostly music and stereo equipment, and fled the scene. Travis Davis and the rest of his team were victorious. “I told them, ‘Alright boys let’s get to work” The humans began to clean up and explore what was now, their flying saucer.

Later that day, the store attracted their biggest amount of customers in the company’s history. They accomplished this not only with their ingenious “Alien Themed” store but revealing new technology that seemed futuristic, almost out of this world. Things called mp3 players, digital camcorders, and for some reason ugg boots were being purchased like hot cakes.

With the huge success of the Burbank store, the franchised decided to theme all their stores to attract nerds, I mean customers. The Pac Man theme in Sunnyvale, Vampire/Werewolf Zoo in Dallas, and the ever popular Dudgeons and Dragons themed store in Fountain Valley were huge successes.

What ever happened to those aliens? They now own a tiling business in Ventura and formed the popular underground hip hop group “DJ Positronic and the Cosmic Crew”.